Only fourteen days into my challenge I have to make a tough, tough, tough decision.
I have a favorite t-shirt. I inherited it from my mother-in-law, who had put it in a pile of clothes she was going to donate to the Salvation Army two years ago at Christmas time. I loved the color: a pretty blush pink. I loved the fit: a few little buttons on the front. I loved the texture: lightweight and fluid.
It did not take me long to figure out why the item was going to be donated: it was full of little holes. Not moth holes, mind you. The material was simply poor quality, constantly making new little holes. I loved the t-shirt so much that I mended those holes for two years, each time the mending becoming more conspicuous. Pretty soon I couldn’t even keep up. I was mending it before, during and after every single time I wore the t-shirt.
Even today, as I think about finally retiring this t-shirt, I think, “Oh, I’ll just wear it one more time. Just once…” I have been saying that for about a year and half.
So today is the day. Today is the last time I am going to wear my favorite, perfect blush-colored t-shirt. Tonight, when I take it off, I am going to thank it for its service. I am going to tear it into rags and use it dust my piano.
Having a plan for the t-shirt once it is no longer wearable makes me feel a touch less guilty, but I still have a little bit of that awful sense of regret, similar to what I have felt when I have had to take a beloved pet to the vet, knowing she wouldn’t be coming home.
This t-shirt has no bad memories attached to it. It always brought me joy to wear it. And yet I have to say goodbye to it. It feels like a low-budget tragedy.
So: Dear lovely blush-colored t-shirt: thank you for bringing me joy every single time I wore you. Thank you for giving me practice mending. Thank you for helping me discover a color I didn’t know I would love. By exiting the Pantheon, you are making room for something else that has been ignored for too long to become a favorite.
Dust in Peace.