Celebrate Everything

If you need to find a reason to celebrate something, I’m your gal. I can always find a silver lining, which can make me downright unbearable at times.

The Boobie Retirement Party

When my littlest scalawag was a baby, he decided one day that he was done nursing and never cared to see my boobies ever again. My boobies, however, did not get the message right away. As a matter of fact, they didn’t get the message for a really really long time, which led to some painful moments (I could have taken stock in a cabbage farm, if ya know what I mean.) I was sad that he was done nursing, because our nursing relationship had been so easy, whereas with the first baby nursing had been a trial from beginning to end.

I needed to make peace with the end of our nursing relationship. While in the thick of nursing, I had tried all kinds of ways to increase milk production: herbal teas, keeping hydrated, pumping. I also avoided anything that might possibly impede production.

Whether or not it is true, I had read that mint was not good for milk supply, so I avoided it like the plague, to the point of even forgoing mint chocolate chip ice cream which, let’s all agree, is an incredible sacrifice. I have also always loved to drink mint tea with (please don’t judge me) maple syrup. Our favorite Chinese restaurant gives sprigs of mint with their egg rolls and I always save them up to make myself a minty-maple-syrupy special treat. I call it my Mint Julep and I will hear no arguments to the contrary.

In order to make peace with the end of the nursing season, I felt like I needed to do some kind of performative, official, season-ending act: I decided to celebrate the end of nursing. I went to the Tea Shop, leaving the boys with their indulgent father one afternoon. I ordered a mint tea. Before I took my first sip, I thanked my boobies for having been such amazing machines and nourishing two fantastic little scalawags. Then, I told them, (in hushed whispers when no one was around) “You’re done now. You can retire.”

I don’t know how much the mint tea really made a difference, but my heart was able to let go of the nursing season. My boobies got the message. Shortly thereafter, I had no more need for cabbage leaves.

Menopause Happy Hour

At the risk of putting her on blast for something she may not want widely known, I have friend who recently arrived at the end of the “is it pregnancy or is it menopause” gameshow that is the 365 day no-period-period prior to menopause.

As she arrived towards the date that would mark the end of her one year and the official start of menopause, I said, “Let’s have a Menopause Happy Hour to celebrate!” So we did.

We did it virtually, since it was during the pandemic lockdown, but nonetheless. We have a funny picture of the two of us giggling, a little tipsy, about our first periods and our really embarrassing, cringeworthy hormonal moments over the years.

The Precedent

Many many moons ago I read a book called The Red Tent. It is a fiction around the biblical story of Dinah, one of the daughters of Jacob. In it, when she gets her first period, she goes through a strange ritual, which read like it was something of a dreamy party.

I don’t know if there are cultures in the world that celebrate women’s milestones like that, or if it was entirely fictional. But I found this to be so empowering. Why don’t we celebrate our first periods, or the end of nursing or our arrival into menopause?

I so desperately want to live in a world where girls are not shamed for our bodies, our hormonal cycles, our ageing process. We can start by celebrating our own milestones.

How to have a Tea Party:

In case you forgot.

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Do THIS!

Seriously. Don’t wait. Please don’t put off celebrating your milestones and your successes! You deserve a tea party, or a menopause Happy Hour. Do this!!!!