Week 15: Heartwork, Unhelpable, Really bad posture.

This year, I set myself 22 little goals to pursue throughout the year. I call them the 22 in 22. They may all seem a bit random, but they were important to me at the time I made my New Year’s Resolution. Each Saturday, I take a few minutes to check my progress on a few of my goals.

#2 Do the heartwork necessary for my marriage

It’s easy, when kids show up, to forget the reasons why we got married in the first place. The endless conversations are pre-empted by a need to be silent after 8:00PM, or the companionable silences are constantly interrupted by someone who thinks they need someone else to go get them a pair of socks they are more than capable of getting for themselves.

I had asked my indulgent husband to help me with a project in French, one we’ve been working on together since late December.

I’m rather excited to see how that project has turned into something that isn’t just my project, but is one that he is finding some meaning in, too. So much so, that several times a week, in the wee hours of the morning, we will whisper about it on the couch while the boys are sleeping.

This week, our whispered conversation bled into breakfast. At one point, my husband said to one of the boys who was trying to talk over us, “Mama and I are talking. You are going to have to wait.”

I was so flattered. It’s nice to be a priority.

#4 Complete and update our home binder info

I didn’t actually do this this week, but I was confronted by a panicked sense of urgency about getting it done.

An older couple used to live upstairs from us here in our building. They were charming, especially him. He was what held her together, and when he was diagnosed with cancer, she started falling apart. He had always done all of the administrative work, all the bill paying. He knew where all the accounts were kept and how to access them.

When he died, she was lost. She was estranged from her child who lived here in town, the others lived far away. Everyone who could help tried to help her, but she was unhelpable.

Even if he had prepared a step by step document for her to follow, I’m not sure she could have figured it out. She eventually let herself waste away and died only a year after he did.

This was like a warning bell to me. Pre-children, my husband and I both took care of all the administrative stuff. Since babies, I stopped paying attention to all that. When I had an issue with an online payment this week, I realized that I would have no idea whatsoever how to find most of our important documentation.

So…note to self. Make this a priority. Do not lose sight of where the important documents are. Update that binder, too.

#16 Improve my posture

I made zero headway on this this week. Even moreso, there has been a revamp of our stage a church, a series of tall, narrow digital screens put in place instead of the traditional white screen for projection.

What does this have to do with posture? Everything. You see, those screens have a mirrored surface. So when they are not on, they are just mirrors. And with I don’t know…eight of them…all around the back of the stage, there is no angle of one’s body that one cannot accidentally see.

…Including one’s terrible posture. So this was a wakeup call this week too. I need to return to my efforts to improve my posture, or else I will be judging the woman I accidentally catch a glimpse of in the mirror for her lack of Gravitas.

Episode 32: Environment and Ecology Sing With Your Feet

Talking Points: “Not on my Green Parenting Bingo Card,” LiElla is back!; Geeking out and going out green. Episode 32 is part of our series on the Ideal Life Categories, this week's theme being "Environment and Ecology." The series began back in Episode 15: The One About Our Bodies, in case you want to get caught up! Links: Learn more about LiElla Kelly, Death Doula, on her website and blog, Leaving Well…The Blog. or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leaving.well.death.doula/ or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=leaving%20well%20end-of-life%20planning You can contact Lily by email: lily@lilyfieldschallenge.com, or find her other work here: https://linktr.ee/lilyfieldschallenge
  1. Episode 32: Environment and Ecology
  2. Episode 31: Mental Health
  3. Episode 30: Contentment
  4. Episode 29: Commitments
  5. Episode 28: Lucidly Ever After

Published by Lily Fields

I am passionate about contentment. This is a challenge, because I am equally passionate about progress. I get up at 4:00AM to chip away at a solution to this monolithic problem: how to make progress on my contentment. Born and raised in the USA, I married a French philosophy teacher in 1999. We have lived in France since 2007. We stayed young and carefree until life threw us two curveballs in the form of little humans one after another in 2015 and 2017 respectively. Now I am a slightly older, slightly more exhausted version of myself, but with mystery stains on my walls and a never-ending pile of laundry.

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