The “Golden Rule Rules” Rules

You know me by now, right? I like rules. I like to make rules and I like holding myself accountable to rules. So obviously, when Lily Fields makes a New Year’s Resolution, it comes with rules. I find that this helps break down a resolution into smaller chunks, making it hard to fail entirely, which, as you may imagine, I am loathe to do.

Fairy godmothers do not fail.

So when it comes to my resolution to live out the Golden Rule, or, as I am calling my little attempt at loving others as I love myself and doing for others what I would them to do for me, “The Golden Rule Rules”, I need a few rules. Thus the strange title of this article.

  • When my first reaction is “no” because I want to stay comfortably doing whatever I was doing, I need to change it to a “yes” and do what I would want done for me.
  • When my response is a “no” for a health or safety reason, I need to explain it.
  • When I have said “yes” after an I initial “no”, I need to make sure to connect with the scalawag as I do whatever it is…not just “do it for them”.
  • If anything takes less than a minute, I must do it now.
  • Pray for the people I love.
  • Let the people I love know I am thinking about them when it pops up.
  • Small, insignificant but ultimately meaningful gestures of love are de rigueur. (Sending the elevator back to the garage for a neighbor, putting toothpaste on toothbrushes, putting away everyone’s laundry even though they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves.)
  • Refrain from grumbling about the insignificant gestures.
  • Hug liberally.
  • Explain things patiently.
  • Ask for help when I need it.
  • Give undivided attention.
  • Speak kindly to and of others.

That’s it. Them’s the rules. It sounds so easy, but I assure you that for a short-fused, self-centered creature of comfort such as myself, it is anything but.

So there we have it. The building blocks of this year’s resolution.

PS: I am currently staring down a pile of folded laundry that belongs to someone in my house that has been sitting here for four days, and yes, I have been grumbling about it. I have been resisting putting it away for this person, because I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reason: because it is what I would want someone to do for me, and not just because I am sick and tired of looking at this tower of laundry.

Episode 63: Foresight Sing With Your Feet

This week, we look at how we can love ourselves better by planning ahead.
  1. Episode 63: Foresight
  2. Episode 62: Memory
  3. Episode 61: Novelty
  4. Episode 60: How to Have Great Sex
  5. Episode 59: I Have A Theory

Published by Lily Fields

I am passionate about contentment. This is a challenge, because I am equally passionate about progress. I get up at 4:00AM to chip away at a solution to this monolithic problem: how to make progress on my contentment. Born and raised in the USA, I married a French philosophy teacher in 1999. We have lived in France since 2007. We stayed young and carefree until life threw us two curveballs in the form of little humans one after another in 2015 and 2017 respectively. Now I am a slightly older, slightly more exhausted version of myself, but with mystery stains on my walls and a never-ending pile of laundry.

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